Bigmouth Strikes Again [entries|friends|calendar] Girlfriend In A Coma [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[28 Apr 2005|01:31am] Okay, I'm ending this journal because it's about time...I needed a new one. So voila: __siamesedream In the room downstairs he sat and stared

[27 Apr 2005|05:59pm] [ mood | curious ] [ music | Bright Eyes ] Je ne sais pas... Yes. That about sums it up. Oh and 9 out of every 10 people agree, I am Enid from Ghost World. EDIT: 10:30pm: I need a new mantra. And by new mantra, I mean, I've never had a personal mantra but I've always thought it would be cool to have one. So basically, I just want one. PS. This marks a week without cigarettes. The first of many. 4 will never make mistake again will never make that mistake again | In the room downstairs he sat and stared

You Keep the hell out of my bodybag! [26 Apr 2005|06:30pm] [ mood | exhausted ] I am once again reminded of how much I hate being sick. Excuse me while I try to relieve my spirits by reading some more Breakfast of Champions. Tomorrow, I will be fruitful and prosperous. 1 will never make mistake again will never make that mistake again | In the room downstairs he sat and stared

[25 Apr 2005|04:27pm] [ mood | sick ] You Are a Dreaming Soul Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you awy from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul What Kind of Soul Are You? In the room downstairs he sat and stared

[23 Apr 2005|02:47pm] [ music | In India You- Brian Jonestown Massacre ] Last night Marie and I walked to Kal beach from her house. Well, originally, it was just supposed to be a 7-11 run for the cheap ass coffee but then we were like "hey, let's go to Tim Hortons" and of course when we got there we were all "why stop here? let's go to Kal!". Of corse we had to buy extra large cappucinos for the trek, heh. It was so much fun. Insanely, so. I love random adventures like that. Especially late at night. We left at 10:30pm and didn't get back until around 2am. The highlights include our Joy Divison/Dandy Warhols singalong on the highway, meeting gnarly-looking hipsters from Kelowna, sitting on the dock looking out into the bleak existence and trying to find something beautiful (god, i love typing cliche bullshit), revisiting the old jam shack where so many hours of our grade ten year were spent attending "hip punk rock to the core" shows, almost being maimed by a scary looking mut and just rehashing so much from the past three years of our friendship. We've decided that before the end of high school, we will discover "the Okanagan dream"... whatever that means. I think it involves walking to a lot of places and doing tons of psychadelic drugs or something. The spirit of Hunter S. Thompson has invaded our brains. We plan on walking to Kelowna sometime this month. I'm estimating that it would be a five-six hour trek. OH! I almost forgot to mention the cool retro furniture that my father surprised me with. He got iut for free from some client or other this morning. They were going to take it all to the good will store but luckily, he saved it. And I was watching the coolest documentary on total cinephiles this morning. These people's lives revolve around movies and watching 5-6 movues per day at different cinemas across NYC. It's so intense. I could see myself being one of them in maybe 10-15 years if things don't work out for me, ha. In the room downstairs he sat and stared

[20 Apr 2005|07:55am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | I Won't Share You- The Smiths ] I remember wanting to write an entry earlier this morning for some bizzare reason(I think I actually had something to say then) but now I can't really remember why I wanted to write an entry so I'll just share some more random tidbits from yesterday. Until now, I completely forgot that we made Josh stick an entire tablespoon full of peanut butter into his mouth. Don't ever do it! Of course, it's really funny watching somebody else do it.... their eyes tearing up, them trying to mumble something about not being able to breathe through that gigantic glob blocking their air passages, the golden expression of pain on their face... in fact, it was downright hilarious. Marie and I were convulsing with laughter, I couldn't stand. Last night, I gave into nicotine again. My whole two days without it were hellish. There's nothing quite like sitting alone on your porch at night chainsmoking... god, I need a reason to quit. But now, I must go shower. I realize that I'm just procrastinating now. I'm horrible. I need to spend less time on the computer in the mornings. We're filming the model train club scene today. Woop. In the room downstairs he sat and stared

[19 Apr 2005|05:26pm] [ mood | content ] This afternoon, I felt like I was eight years old again while swinging on the tire swing, grasping on for dear life, and most importantly being able to feel lunch(cheese pizza and a burrito) rise up from the pit of my stomach and slosh around. I love my friends. "So bascially I can come over to your house and bribe your dad to let our film in?" "Yeah... or he'll just be so excited that I'm in a movie and he'll automatically put it in" 1 will never make mistake again will never make that mistake again | In the room downstairs he sat and stared

[18 Apr 2005|11:11pm] [ mood | content ] Overall, today was a really good day full of a lot of random happenings that made me appreciate life a little more. Of course this morning, I was like ten minutes late for Comparative Civ(when am I ever on time for anything?). Meagan showed up a few seconds later and we hung around outside the door like the cool cats that we are and waited til Kran opened the door. Then, the class was sent to the library to start our next project... so basically I made a healthy decision to do some work and listened to some Modest Mouse. At break, I gushed about my nerdiness/stokedness to Marie & Jennie. Then, Josh& I walked to the mall so that he could get a new bank card(finally). On the way, some crazy lady almost ran us over! We were at an intersection and it seemed that she was going to let us go ahead but obviously she wasn't paying attention and just kept on going, I felt the car move and I was like 'wtf?' and ran out of the way. Meanwhile, Josh had to jump onto the front of her car to keep from becoming roadkill. Once, this woman realized what she was doing she got out of the car and apologized profusely. Anyways, going to the mall turned out to be a completely useless trek because the bank was closed. But the walk was nice because it was beautiful outside. So after that, we walked to Safeway so Josh could meet up with his dad and then I got some lunch and walked back to the school. I basked in the sun as I ate my cold vegetarian pizza from Cooper's(never again) and then Marie, Meagan& Kristin joined me. We all sat for a bit in the sun and then parted ways as Meagan& Kirstin went on a quest for food and Marie was waiting for her mother. Her mother came and bestowed the gift of cold hard cash and we went to Subway. On the way, we saw some sheer morons sitting in the field in plain view of the main road in a large circle smoking pot. I hope that they got caught for being so stupid like that. So we returned to the school and met back up with Meagan& Kristin. Meagan bought a huge bag of grapes that we all shared over the course of the next hour. And Kyle showed up! I was quite stoked to see him because i hadn't seen him in a week because of the drama trip. And in video class, we made Patrick wear the shoes(the neon ugly--but really super sexy runners that we borrowed from Mr. K's for our movie), he could barely get his feet into them, it was hilarious! And we actually filmed some stuff. We got Patrick moping down the hallway and then spazzing about the shoes being made in mexico and throwing them in the garbage... except the shoes only made it into the garbage in like 2 takes of 10. Most of the time, Patrick got so worked up that he knocked the garbage over. And one time, he got the shoes stuck to him! And Dan is going to be the president of the model train club, oh man! that's going to be priceless. Then, I finished capp this afternoon! Well.. I still have some work experience to do... I might end up jobshadowing at a film production company. But, I'm back to having two spares :) I went to the library and hung out with Sean and Ashley. They made me a pretty sign with my name on it. Marie, Will and Josh showed up too. We read our horoscopes, Marie& Will bitched about native studies... it was great. After school, I basically sat around conserving my energy and being a total nerd waiting until six to leave. I didn't end up leaving until like quarter after six because I had to want til my dad got home so I could get some money for the movie. And because it wass so late and I really didn't want to be late, I got him to drive me halfway. So, I walked the rest of the way to Bean Scene, listening to Radiohead and being a totally nervous loser. After all of that fuss, I was only four minutes late and Robbie wasn't even there yet. So I got a chai latte and sat outside and continued to be a nervous loser. About five minutes later, he shows up, we sit there for about an hour and then we go to the movie and then we hang around outside the theatre for a while and then we wander over to Tim Horton's. I don't even want to disect all the things that we talked about and all that happened over the course of the evening right now. All I want to think about is that I had a really good time... as lame as that sounds(well, I did so there, journal). He's a really neat guy and I hope to go out with him again some time. 2 will never make mistake again will never make that mistake again | In the room downstairs he sat and stared

[17 Apr 2005|03:38pm] [ mood | geeky ] What Classic Movie Are You? personality tests by similarminds.com This weekend has been alright. Friday night: I saw the remake of The Amityville Horror with Shannon, Marie & Josh. It actually really freaked me out. Movies about demon possession and the occult have a tendency to do that. So I had to sleep over at Marie's house because I didn't want to go home to an empty house. God, I'm such a pussy sometimes. And of course after we saw the movie we went to Denny's and they are hiring & my dad knows the manager so I'm going to try to get a job there. Josh stole a sugar/napkin holder as a prop for the play he's in (Allison, you should be proud). Yesterday: My grandpa arrived at like 2:30pm. I was quite stoked about that because I hadn't seen him since the summer. The man is so cool. Marie& I went to the mall and I bought 2 new cds(Radiohead's The Bends & Modest Mouse's The Moon& Antarctica). Then, at around 7pm, I walked down to Tycko's for the soiree(just pretend there's an accent on one of those e's, I can't even remember which one it's supposed to be on, man, my French has gone so far downhill). On the way, some weird kids asked me if I like babies to which I answered "no!" and then they asked me if i like my vagina to which i gave them a disapproving glance and walked away. So I get to Tycko's at like 7:45 and of course, no one is there. Well, besides me, Marie & Tycko. Eventually, Joel(but he left after half an hour) and Eric and Yannic and Harley and Shannon and her brothers Travis and Greg and then a pile of kids that look lame that I don't know show up. Luckily, the lame kids left after a couple hours. They made me feel anxious. So it was a small gathering. Oh, and Tycko's sister Nikki and her boyfriend Kirk were there too and later Matt and Kristin came. I got pretty messed up. It wasn't that fun but it was almost fun because it winded up being so lame... if that makes any sense. At 1am, I proceeded to walk all the way home across town by myself! Well, Tycko walked me the first couple blocks... but man, that was so sketchy. Especially walking through downtown! If I didn't have my cd player it would have been a lot worse. I'm just happy that I didn't encounter any weirdos. Anyways, I got home at around 2am and checked the phone to see if anyone called in the five hours that I was gone and well, Robbie called. And I was like 'damn it... oh well, i'll call him back tomorrow'. Today: The usual ritual of going to Denny's on Sunday morning commenced at 11am. This was of course ten minutes after I rolled out of bed with the greasiest hair in the world. Ick, I still need to shower! But fortunately, no hangover, yay! So Shannon, Marie& I chill at Denny's for about an hour and then I remember about the ad that I have from the paper about the Vernon Seconday School Class of '75 reunion that is happening at Portillo's at 1pm. And I'm like 'oh my god. we are so going'. So we went. Oh, but before the details, first the ad: "Remember The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Or Monty Python and the Holy Grail? If you do, chances are you were among the class of 1975 at Vernon Secondary School. Class valedictorian Bruce Townsend invites grads of '75 to a 30-year reunion meeting at Portillo's El Coffee House downtown. So we go and there's the whole five people that showed up sitting around a table outside rehashing old times. We sat inside and carefully observed from a distance. Over the course of an hour, a few more of them show up. They may have caught on to us, I'm not really sure. We tried not to be too obvious. It was a fun time. Then, we went back to Tycko's to pick up Marie's cds(which had beer spilled all over them!) and told him, Nikki & Kirk about our adventure with the class of '75. After that, I went home and called Robbie. I was kind of nervous because well, I always am when it comes to phoning people, but it went pretty well. We talked for about 15 minutes about random things(ex. Spinal Tap and Seinfeld) and then we made plans to go see a movie tomorrow night. Now, I must wash my hair and do some homework. 1 will never make mistake again will never make that mistake again | In the room downstairs he sat and stared

how fucking cool. [14 Apr 2005|11:13pm]             tim roth is love brought to you by the isLove Generator 1 will never make mistake again will never make that mistake again | In the room downstairs he sat and stared

behind the hatred there lies a plundering desire for love... [10 Apr 2005|04:16pm] [ mood | productive ] [ music | The Boy With The Thorn In His Side - The Smiths ] Yesterday started out bland and stale but it turned out good. I woke up around eight, when Jonny phoned me about filming(which was not happening, so this i told him) and then I went back to sleep for a few hours. The next time that I woke up, it was around twelve-thirty and Marie was on the phone this time. We talked for a bit and then I got up, showered, had a cigarette and a chai latte, and got to my homework. At three-thirty, Marie& I went to the mall with her parents. I bought a Smiths CD(The Queen Is Dead <3<3<3) and a blue cardigan at Winners. Marie&I tried on several absolutely ridiculous outfits. Then, her mom bought us Chinese food and we went home. It was fun. I also managed to see aprox. 15 people that I know in the two hours that we were there. No exaggeration. God, I hate this town. So Marie&I bummed around trying to figure out what exactly was to go down that evening. Were we going to the show? Were we going to Kyle's party? Where the hell is Kyle's party and how will we find it? All of these questions and more were answered as we listened to The Queen Is Dead more than twice. Kyle called and gave us directions. Shannon came back into town and we went to the show, well sort of hung around outside it. And man oh man, so many goddamed scenesters. But there was a plethora of cool people that I know that I didn't expect to see there. Such as the lovely Miss Jesse and Rob and Robbie and Kendall and Julian and Joel and some others. God, I'm such a dork but I was actually so stoked just to see Robbie there and I almost wanted to stay just to hang out with him(well that and to hear Jeremy's band, of course). But alas, we left to go get Tycko and to buy Julian some alcohol. We're at Tycko's for half an hour because he is making pizza. At this point, I'm very anxious and really wanting to know what exactly is going on. The whole thing is that Shannon and I want to go back and check out the show and Marie doesn't. So, she made plans which involved her meeting Josh up at her house and then walking for an hour up to Kyle's party... which only complicated things. So Shannon and I go to the liquor store to get Julian's alcohol, as well as alcohol for Marie, Josh, Shannon & myself. Then we drive back to the show (which by the way is at a church, ha) to deliver Julian his alcohol. Then we drive back to Tycko's, pick up Marie & Tycko, head up to Marie's, bundle up, wait for Josh and then head back down once more to the show just so that Tycko can talk to James. By this time, it is around eight thirty. So there we are, once again hanging around outside of the show. Tycko goes in to talk to James... he is in there for about ten minutes so Marie&I attempt to go in and look for him but they only let Marie in so I have to stay outside. Luckily, as I'm hanging around in the entrance way, I spot Robbie on his way outside so naturally I go and talk to him. Marie & Tycko emerge pretty soon and are ready to go but before we headed out, I made sure to give Robbie my phone number and told him to call me sometime--something that I'm usually horrible at doing because I get ridiculously nervous and become afraid of instant rejection but I felt oddly confident. Then we split after that, and there I am walking across the parking lot, waving goodbye and grinning like a fool... god, i'm a dork. I don't say anything to the others until we pile into the car and of course they're all happy for me and stuff. I really hope that he actually does call me. Ten minutes later, we find ourselves up at the BX Dog Park calling Kyle to come and meet us. The next half hour involves stumbling into the dark woods, climbing across a log to get to the other side of the creek(I thought I was going to fall in...) and then stumbling through the dark woods itself and getting burs stuck in my hair and on my sweaters but it was all worth it to get to that campsite. Liam's greatest achievement: finding that gnarly place. The next four hours are a happy drunken haze of random conversations and stumbling through the woods. It was a good night. In the room downstairs he sat and stared

[09 Apr 2005|01:24am] [ mood | sleepy ] Sin City blew my mind away. All I can say is whoa... And I'm so flipping stoked for Star Wars Episode III omg! 1 will never make mistake again will never make that mistake again | In the room downstairs he sat and stared

[05 Apr 2005|10:43pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Cars- Gary Numan ] Your Brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve What Gender Is Your Brain? AND You Are A Hazelnut Tree You're a charmer with a killer sense of humor. You are very demanding, but you can also be very understanding. No matter what, you always make a lasting impression - you're quite popular. Passionate, you are an active fighter for social causes and politics. In general, you are moody, honest, a perfectionist, and very sexual. What is Your Celtic Horoscope? In the room downstairs he sat and stared

[05 Apr 2005|12:27pm] [ mood | dorky ] This is my dream school: http://www.jtsa.edu !!! 2 will never make mistake again will never make that mistake again | In the room downstairs he sat and stared

In my mind i am everyone [04 Apr 2005|10:24pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Porcelina of the Vast Oceans- Smashing Pumpkins ] ( Yesterday- I watched Woody Allen all day. Man, that made me so happy. Radio Days, Alice, Everyone Says I Love You and Hannah & Her Sisters were all on in a row.... how could I resist? ) In the room downstairs he sat and stared

[02 Apr 2005|08:56pm] -Post the names of 20 musicians. -See who can guess which is your favourite track by each. -Once someone guesses right, bold the musician and include the track. The Smiths The Velvet Underground Radiohead The Smashing Pumpkins The Dandy Warhols Elliott Smith Elton John Belle&Sebastian Jack Johnson The Cure Tears For Fears Bright Eyes Morrissey Duran Duran AFI Supertramp The Clash Nirvana REM- Losing My Religion The Beatles 13 will never make mistake again will never make that mistake again | In the room downstairs he sat and stared

Think I'll go a little but then I go far [31 Mar 2005|12:03pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | Le Tigre ] Last night a friend of mine said to me, "In the entire time that I've known you, I've only seen you use two facial expressions..." then went on to compare me to a mutual friend in the room who "has about 30 different expressions". This person has known me for two years and they've only really known the other person for about five months... if that. It was a lighthearted comment but I was already in a bad mood for inexplicable reasons so it really got the turntable in my head playing a really sour tune. It made me question the validity of myself as a three-dimensional figure. Sure, I know there's about 256865+ things going on inside of me at all times *cough*EXAGGERATION*cough* but that's just it, I'm the only one. Sometimes, I manage to share up to about 10-15 of these things with some people and I wonder if I just seem like this one dimensional sketch of a hollow girl. Last night when I was ridiculously high, I came up with this analogy that I am a blade of grass amongst the willow trees, ha... whatever that is really supposed to mean, I could not tell you exactly but it made perfect sense at the time. I was just in a strange melancholy mood last night. One of times where anything could trigger anxiety and did to the tees. Yannic's mom practically screaming at me to go to my house at 11:30 at night to get the filming equipment from my house at that very instant, even though I just wanted to chill for about another half hour and then head home, because she was paranoid that they would show up at my house in the morning and find me either gone or sleeping... which made me very much agitated. If I knew for a fact that someone was coming to my house at a certain time in the morning, I would be up an hour ahead of time waiting. Jesus Christ. Maybe that has happened once or twice... I don't know where her mom is getting this "you are completely unreliable" stuff from because, I am not Marie. Marie, as much as I adore her, is the most unreliable person in the world. I hate that people think that I am like that because she is like that, guilty by association, much? I'll stop going off on that tangent... I was almost going to just stay at my house once we went up there to save my emotional turmoil from escalating in front of others. But no, I went back after popping some pills. Vitamins to ease my mind, no not valium(i wish). It just pisses me off how some people can be so open and show the entire world their petty stresses that really are nothing in the grand scheme of things. I could never do that. I can barely cry in front of other people. My heart is in a safe far removed from my being, not on my sleeve. I don't mind if what the person is being open about is important and necessary but when it's incessant stuff that doesn't really matter because they'll figure it out in the end anyways, I just could not care less. I just want to say, "Get over yourself already!!!" to certain people sometimes. Because they have it better than anyone else that I know and they don't even realize it so they should just stfu. Yes, acronyms are where it's at. And sometimes, I want to tell certain other people to stop faking it and being such a goddamn cartoon because they have it the worst out of everyone and only complain to me in private. Which, I respect but they need to be tangible if they want things to work out. And to myself I want to scream: "SHOW SOME FUCKING EMOTION AND STOP BEING CONSUMED BY THE EMOTIONS OF OTHERS AND REACTING THE WAY YOU THINK THAT YOU SHOULD. STOP THINKING SO FUCKING MUCH." I'm sick of being compassionate and feeling like a doormat. 1 will never make mistake again will never make that mistake again | In the room downstairs he sat and stared

well fuck me gently with a chainsaw! [27 Mar 2005|09:25pm] [ mood | crazy ] ( Goddamn, I have to do this all over again! ) 2 will never make mistake again will never make that mistake again | In the room downstairs he sat and stared

Keep breathing [16 Mar 2005|11:10pm] [ mood | pleased ] [ music | Exit Music(For A Film)- Radiohead ] Today was awesome. Filming went so well... so well! Ahhh. I'm just so relieved to have started filming and have actually gotten 2 scenes done on the first day! We would have gotten more done too if the battery hadn't died. Oh well, c'est la vie. And for a second there my house felt like a professional location shoot. Well, more like low budget indie flick shoot but you get the idea. It was just so much fun sitting and talking with everyone between takes. Afterwards Marie and Kyle stayed around and we talked about relationships and stresses and listened to Radiohead and I just love being able to do that with them, we always have the best conversations. Meagan stayed with us for a bit which was pretty cool. I really liked the fact that we had about an hour and a half to be set up and ready to go before Davida and Matt showed up because setting up usually takes an hour in itself. At one point Jonny, Marie, Meagan, Josh & I were all crammed onto my bed just sitting there staring at the bright halogen lights and the white walls of the spare room in my basement. Yes, we hauled my bed into the spare room because my room is just too cluttered and well, too green to film in. And I really enjoy working with Davida and Matt, they are just so much fun. Davida might be setting me up with Robbie which would be extremely cool... I hope something happens with that. Ummm... yeah. Oh and Josh is coming to Jack Johnson too now. Yay! He was trying to buy a ticket online without a credit card, silly boy. I wound up using my ticketmaster account to get him one because it was just so sad watching him stare at the ticket screen and repeatedly try to get himself one but fail. We're filming again tomorrow... I hope that it goes just as smoothly *crosses fingers* 4 will never make mistake again will never make that mistake again | In the room downstairs he sat and stared

Every Day Should be a holiday [15 Mar 2005|06:08pm] The past couple days have been good. We start filming for my movie tomorrow!!! I'm really stoked for that. Everyone wants me to go to grad with Patrick. The funny part is that they decided this without me... Marie just comes up to me on Saturday and is like "You have to go to grad with Patrick!" and I was like "Ummm, okay!" Because, it would actually be a lot of fun because he is so crazy/eccentric/just plain odd. And yesterday, Marie actually told him that he should go to grad with me and apparently he was all "Hmmm... yeah, that's a possibility" or something. So, I don't know if he is actually going to ask me or not. I will probaby have to ask him, ha. I'm surprised that I didn't think of going to grad with him sooner. Anyway, last night Shannon, Joel, Marie, Katie & I had a jolly old time at Portillo's and goofing around at Shannon's. And I have to say, The Labyrinth just isn't as exciting as it usd to be. We made it about 3/4 of the way through but we got ADD and gave up. AND... *exciting news* Shannon& I are going to see Jack Johnson in Vancouver in August!!! YAY! ( Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now...SMITHS QUIZ! ) 5 will never make mistake again will never make that mistake again | In the room downstairs he sat and stared

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